Monday, December 28, 2009

My New Year's Resolutions

So it hit me just yesterday afternoon that this was not just a new year, this was a new decade! When the hell did that happen!? What the fuck happened to these last 10 years!? *shakes head in disbelief*

These last 10 years have been the worst in my 30 yrs of life. Let's review, shall we?

1999- College w/ a 1 yr old. Married and seemingly happy
2000- Not happy at all. College. Affair. Move in to College Apts w/ BFF. Suicide attempts by the then hubs. etc...
2001- I turned 21! I met new friends. I was back down to 125 lbs. I was social. I started semi-dating my current hubs. I loved life!
2002- Life was still pretty good to start. Got served divorce papers (We were supposed to do it w/o lawyers. It was a shock) Then the shit started. CPS. Custody battle to end all custody battles.
2003- Same.
2004- More custody. Got married. Had my other son.
2005- Custody shit.
2006- Assaults. MORE custody shit. March was the last time I saw my oldest boy. My baby girl was born.
2007- Passed as years do.
2008- Blah once again.
2009- Twilight. FanFiction. Twitter. Did I mention TWILIGHT!?

I have to say that 2009 was the highlight of my decade! I found the Twilight saga after watching the movie. After I read the books twice and lent them to a friend, I needed more. I got onto websites galore and YouTube.

Finally while scanning Stephenie Meyer's website, I found a blog name that jumped out at me. "Super Secret Twilight Blog" I thought "perfect! My obsession is a secret too" and I went there. I met Cutie! My first bloggy friend. I lurked for a while. Left a comment here and there. After a while I visited SSTB every day. Then spread my wings and found other friends' blogs. And eventually started this one.

Heard about a discussion on SSTB about a FF piece called Wide Awake by Angstgoddess003. I read it and joined in on the fun. To say I was floored is an understatement. I had no clue what was going on, but I stuck it out then LOVED it! I needed more! I started w/ Cutie's FF list and my obsession just grew from there.

One FFn story I found was I Get Off by Britpacksuccubus. I LOVE that smexy, lemony, love story! And she had a twitter. Well, after a few emails, I decided to jump into twitter too. I am addicted. Yes, plain and simple :)

Back in November, during all the NaNo talk, I started writing FFn too! :) Woo-hoo!

Then we had The Lemon Sister's Secret Santa and that was a blast! (I still feel bad, One Pushy Fox)

Then came the New Year's Eve Party last night! OMGosh! FUN TIMES!!! Right?? ;-)

*sigh* I don't think I could ever say how excited I feel to have met all of you this year! Twilight really brought a bunch of us together who other would have never met. I have had some really hard times this year here on the home front and whether you knew it or not, you guys kept me sane!! I love you all and can't wait to find out what 2010 has in store for us!

Speaking of 2010...

I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired of setting goals for myself that I'll never meet. Not because I don't want to. Not because I didn't really plan on it (because when I say it, I do mean it) But because I seriously lack motivation. So screw the old standbys of:

"I want to lose weight!" - Seriously, who doesn't want to? (And if I have to listen to one more toothpick thin person say they are fat, I will break all their limbs and use them to test the readiness of my cakes!)

"I want to work out more." - Well, this is crucial in losing weight and being healthy, but come on, most people aren't going to do it at all, or they might for a month.

"I want to make more time for my family and friends." - Of course I would like more time with family and friends. But honestly just because I want it doesn't mean that there will magically be more hours in the day. There are only 24 hrs no matter what and if your days are filled with work and being a mom and being a wife, unless your friends or family come over in the middle of the night, this ain't gonna happen.

So with that said, I have set my 2010 New Year's Resolutions!

I resolve to read more. (Be this Sesame Street, Golden Books, FanFic, Twilight, John Saul, or any of these news book titles/authors being presented to me.)

I resolve to eat all the chocolate I want when I'm PMS'ing and not feel bad for hiding it from the kids.

I resolve to save more money for fun trips with and withOUT the kids!

I resolve to finally get ALL the laundry washed instead of leaving those one or two loads that are winter clothes just because it's summer or vice versa.

I resolve to quit trying to please everyone else all the time and start pleasing myself. (Take that how ever you want b/c you're probably correct! LOL)

I resolve to not hide who I am anymore. I've always hid half of who I am because of where I live and because of my family. Why should I? If they love me, they won't care, and I shouldn't care what others think anyway.

So that's for the whole RL New Year's Resolutions.

Now my Twilight Resolutions:

I will read the whole saga again.

I will write/finish my FanFic for that contest that ends on Jan 31st.

I will write the other stories that are in my head and try to continue Ranchward & Bex's story. (And THAT story for you, Betti & Crystal)

I will stay more up to date with my Blog and my friend's Blogs.

So please, I want to hear your thoughts and comments! What are some of your New Year's Resolutions? Real Life or Twilight?

Now please, go get a drink. It could be anything! Water. Coke. Diet Soda. Liquor. Beer. Milk. Just get a drink and toast with me!

*holds glass of Pepsi up high*

Happy 2010 everyone! Here's to a good year for us all!!! :)


A VERY Merry Christmas


Let me start by wishing you all a late Merry Christmas. I hope you got everything you wished for, though I know most of us did not. No matter how hard we wished, begged, dreamed or flat-out asked for them, I know that Edward, Jacob, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, Alice, Rosalie, Esme, and whomever else I forgot, didn't materialize under our trees.

But instead I know some of us got the next best thing. A mini character or a smokin' hot Jacksper as a Secret Santa Deliverer (thx so much Betti Gefecht!)

Which brings me to my next topic. The Lemon Sister's Secret Santa (<-- Click to see the whole assortment of fun and gifts!) As for me, my gift came from the one and only Betti Gefecht over at Betti.Music.Twilight. She gave me a gift that actually made me cry!

Did you notice my new little banner at the top? NO?!?!? Go take a look then, please... *singing Jeopardy*

You're back! It's about time, I had to sing that song twice!
Isn't that just fuckin' awesome!?!?!? Yeah... it is!!!

Next, was a little button for all my friends to use to link to me :) *giggle* It's also over there to your right. Feel free to use it, I promise I won't complain! ;)
Third, did you know that I wrote a little FanFic, Together Again? Yes? No? Oh well, more about that in a minute, but for now, Betti made me the fuckhawt button over to the right. Please meet Ranchward. I'll wait a few extra minutes because it is drool worthy!

Finally, I saw the pic of my Secret Santa delivery guy (once again look to your right). There is a shoulder because Jackson has on a wife beater! *thud*

*15 min later* I regained consciousness and was able to tell Betti how much I love it! She was about to call 911 on my ass since I took so long!

I was at work when she and MrsVanquish coaxed me into clicking that mysterious link under a comment in my blog. Let's just say that I got some weird ass looks from co-workers because I was crying, *squeeing*, making a few of my co-workers (that know only a shallow level of my obsession) look at the fuckhawt pic of Jackson's shoulder, trying to work and not get caught, then recovering from the sheer delight of it all!

It was seriously the best gift I got this year! And it was only that much more special because she made it just for me! *squeeeeeeee* It still makes me all giddy and smile-y!

Like big, goofy, toothy kind of smiley :) THANK YOU, Betti!!!!!! I love it all and I love you too!! :):):):)

This was definitely my year for Twilight goodies. Well, seeing as this is the first gift giving opportunity since I discovered Twilight in March, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised but I was. I thought I hid most of my obsession with Twilight and all things related pretty well from everyone except a few select RL friends and the hubs who still only knows maybe half of it all. But apparently I didn't hide it as well as I thought. Because for Christmas this year I received the Twilight 2-disc movie (I know, how can I have not already owned it? A. I honestly don't know)

AND I got both Twilight and New Moon movie board games! Yes, I am 30 and in front of my whole family I sat there hugging my new treasures with previously depicted goofy smile.

All in all, I'd say for not expecting anything this year at all, everything turned out nicely!

Now, I had mentioned a FanFic story that I wrote. In the previous post (OMG has it really been over a month!? *facepalm* I'm utter fail), I mentioned that I was in the mood to write. But, I had a sever case of writer's block, so I turned to you, my friends, and the call was answered. My dear friend Bex over at Today I Feel Infinite had a wonderful idea about her being with a cowboy Edward. Ok, how perfect is that? I LOVED the idea! I'm from Texas, so it would be that much easier tapping into the cowboy frame of mind.

Once I started, the words just flowed perfectly. I knew I'd need a beta so I kept asking until I found the best, OnePushyFox. (She's a writer herself, and I recommend checking her award winning stories out!) She helped me get through the bumpy places and helped me polish up some lemons by being my personal Smut-saurus. (No, she's not as old as a dinosaur! Shesh!! That's just my term of endearment for her, my Smut Thesaurus!)

My story originally was going to simply end and only hint at the "good stuff" but with a little liquor (ok, a lot of liquor) and my good ol' computer, a yummy lemon came pulsing out of my fingertips. So it does contain a little lemonade at the end. *giggle*

Now I want to tease you a little, because as a few of my friends can tell you (Bex, Einfach Mich) will tell you, I LOVE to tease... Question is, what part do I tease? Hmm....

*deep in thought*

OK! I've decided, I'll give you a couple of nibbles ;)


I paused when I heard, "Hey, darlin', wait! Pearlene, she'll be my guest for the evenin'." I felt a gentle grasp on my elbow, which turned me around, and I saw Mr. Maybe Not So Satisfied looking me directly in the eye. "If you’d like to be my guest, that is."

Uhhh..... That's all that would have come out of my mouth if I tried to speak, so I picked my jaw up from the floor, smiled and nodded. He let go of my elbow but moved his hand to the small of my back and led me to the podium. He handed me the pen and pointed to the name "Edward" then slid his long finger across the page to the blank space under guest. Edward must have been about 6 feet tall because he towered over my little 5’ 3” frame. Well, 5 foot 7 tonight, thank you shoes! I leaned over to sign my name and he, with his left hand still on the small of my back, flattened his right on the book page to hold it still for me.

Fuck me! He had a tattoo on that inner right forearm! It was a rose and a name. What’s my name? I almost forgot but managed to scribble it down. I laid the pen down as my eyes followed his chiseled arm to his defined bicep where another tattoo peeked out from under his sleeve. My eyes kept roaming to find yet another tattoo partially visible coming up off his shoulder and back onto his neck. It took all the resolve I had to not rape this man in front of all these witnesses.


We laughed for a split second and I sat up straddling him. He was staring me straight in the eye and I bit my lip repeating to myself, Breathe in. Breathe out. Just breathe damn it!

He just laid there underneath me with his mouth slightly agape breathing heavily in time with me. I felt his hips grind upward again as he grabbed my hips for more resistance then his tongue caressed his lips and his head rose with his need to kiss me again. Halfway to sitting up, he grabbed both my camisole and tank and pulled them over my head. He groaned low and deep, “So fucking beautiful,” then buried his face in my cleavage.

My hands were wound in his hair again, but I wanted that shirt off of him. Now! I grabbed it from over his shoulders and started pulling; he stopped touching me just long enough to get that damn thing out of our way. I pulled his face to mine and began gently sucking his lips, down his jaw to his neck. Hello tattoo, I forgot about you! I licked and nipped the beautiful tribal ink that ran from his neck to bicep. GOD DAMN! It ran partly down his back and wrapped around his ribs. Where my mouth couldn’t reach, I alternated between stroking with my fingers and grazing the tattoo with my fingernails. Every touch elicited a hum or a groan until I eventually I made my way back up toward his ear and sucked on his earlobe then whispered, “I’m so fucking wet right now, Edward.”

So what do you think? Go on, read it! Please? :) *giggle*
Let me know what you think, because I'm considering conintuing the story.

I am working on another story right now and there's even a new story brewing in my head too. I've unleashed a monster! Lol :)

Alrighty :) I just had to share the wonderment of my blog makeover and give myself a little pimping time! But I am now off to bed!!

Goodnight y'all!!